I can't wait for it to snow.
Seriously, I already have a "fireplace crackling ambient" video playing on Youtube on my huge monitor.
Life is good.
Picarro installations (yay!) -----------------
Last week Joyeeta (Picarro's application scientist) and I hung out for 3 days in a row (I think we're besties now). We assembled the machines, trained them, and ran some samples - I feel like I was truly getting to know the Picarros for the first time, their temperance and all. The installation process was fast, but there were so many, and I mean SO many subtleties. As the only person in my lab now, I was taking notes frantically the whole time, terrified that I'd miss something and that Joyeeta would disappear with all her knowledge and expertise.
I was very much overprepared for the installation. The 1/8'' tubings I got were minimally used; the 1/4'' tubings were not used at all; and the union tees were shouting from their bags wanting to shine but we didn't end up needing extra union tees...Overall, the first installation I oversaw as a lab manager went smoothly.
Grad apps---------------
I honestly didn't think I'd get to this point, but somehow I did it - I can finally say that I'm happy with the programs and advisors I've chosen. I know why I'm applying to the ones on my list, and for the schools that aren't on the list, I know exactly why they weren't a good fit. Frankly I thought I was going to be always discontent about my list, wishing I'd searched harder.
So, as of 11/14/2022, I'm officially shutting down the advisor reach-out operation and "net-casting" operation, and focusing solely on crafting application to the prorgams I like so far. Of course, of course they will always be other advisors doing work I'm interested in, but as of today I'm drawing the line and saying what I have right now is what I will go with, and I'm okay and happy with it.
For anyone reading this who's going through the application process right now - you will feel okay at one point.
On Wednesday, Chandler Morris from Columbia University gave a virtual talk to Brown folks. To be 100% honest, I was scared to attend that talk. Hear me out, HEAR ME OUT - I wasn't sure if I can handle seeing a qualified, put-together, successful post-grad give a whole talk, knowing that they're applying to grad schools of the same field at the same time as I am. Up to this point, I didn't have to interact with many application peers very often. The battle was fought mostly alone, so I've had little idea how competitive or not competitive I am in the application pool, and I found comfort in that. But I also knew if it were me giving the talk as a recent graduate, I'd want all the support I can get. So there I was, ready to get destroyed by a perfect talk, and thinking about ways to recover from that sort of "defeat".
She gave an amazing talk, by the way. It was a cool project, and her hard work was evident. The results were presented very celarly, and interesting questions were raised. I realized that as much as I feared a perfect talk from another grad applicant,I actually found joy in knowing I'm among excellent people. I'm applying to Columbia's program, and knowing people like her will be my peers gave me a boost of energy.
Afterwards, we chatted for a bit, exchanging grad app stress and info on Brown's and Columbia's programs. For the first time, I begin to imagine my life in grad school, whom I'll be surrounded with, and felt excited about all the possibilities.
Manuscript--------------
It just gets harder and harder.
I'll explain when all this is over and when the manuscript is submitted.
I think talking about how frustrated I am with it right now will only lower its self-esteem.
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